Physically Excite

Again, you’re playing a mostly mental game here. She wants to get mind fucked more than actual fucked. You want to build sexual tension here.

Start by getting your mind right. Don’t whip it out just yet. Focus on her. Look at the woman in front of you.

What you do to her isn’t as important as how you do it. Get into it. Whatever it is that you do, do it like you’re super turned on by her, use passion.

More importantly though, be real. No sense in pretending to like something that kills your vibe. If your goal is to make this the most enjoyable experience possible in this moment, focus on the things that turn you on about her and look at her like she’s the embodiment of your deepest desires.

If you want to be a truly great and memorable lover, express to her how hot this is for you. Women want to feel sexy, so expressing your pleasure will only increase her excitement. Getting stroked is fun, but getting stroked by a partner that is super turned on by it is way more fun. This also goes back to being connected.

Use your facial expressions, noises, movements, or other forms of nonverbal communication to translate your enjoyment. For example every now and then you could let your eyes roll back and let out a, “Holy fuck! You’re so hot.”

In other words, be passionate. Touch her like she’s the most precious, beautiful, desirable creature in existence. Act like she drives you wild. Kiss her like you mean it. Shit, do everything like you mean it. And the dirty talk that led you here doesn’t have to stop now that you’ve initiated physical contact. Women are verbal beings. Keep that shit coming.

Suggestions for ways to convey passion:

Hold her close to you and pull her closer like she can’t be close enough. Give her intense eye contact. Hold her face in your hands when you kiss her. Tell her how beautiful she is and how lucky you feel to be kissing her. Tell her you want to lick and kiss every inch of her. Tell her you can’t wait to taste her pussy.


The general erogenous warm-up areas are: mouth, neck, ears, nipples, and you can find spots unique to each woman all over if you explore her (like toes, hips, and back). By warm-up I mean these are the erogenous areas that aren’t in/on her pussy. For some women, however, some of these are not as sensitive or erogenous. For example, some women have desensitized nipples.


Most women prefer for you to start here, so start by kissing her mouth. Check back for kissing techniques.


Let your kisses lead to her neck. The neck is usually a hugely sensitive area and a common favorite female warm up spot. If you kiss her on the neck properly, she’ll feel it in her pussy. I believe a neck kiss should have a bit of suction, although kissing and sucking are different things (duration being the key distinction).

My friends and I have had guys go to “kiss” our necks and we barely felt it because they were just pressing their lips against our skin then removing them. If you’re just going to put your lips to her neck then at least hold your open mouth there and exhale a few hot breaths against her neck. Or press your lips to her neck and drag them to their next destination.

If you’re going to kiss one spot on her neck I recommend some tongue and suction. Try switching up your approach for variety. For example sometimes think about licking and sucking on her neck like it’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted and you’re starving.

But do not suck too hard or in the same spot for too long, because if she’s a classy girl then she’s going to be PISSED when she finds you gave her a hickey in such a prominently displayed area. Moving on.

Also note that for a lot of people, one side of their neck is more sensitive than the other, so give both sides a try.


The ear is also super sensitive. Some examples of ear stimulation are nibbling and sucking on the lobule, tracing your tongue along the helix, diving your tongue into the opening of the canal, and exhaling or blowing into her ear.  Breathing in her ear can be tricky though because you could end up sounding like a dog panting in her ear, so keep it sensual and don’t force it.


The nipples are another hugely erogenous zone for most women. Note: some ladies’ nipples are just not sensitive for various reasons. You want to get them hard and excited first. You can do this by sucking on them or gently pinching them. Once they are standing at attention they’re more sensitive.

Here’s a few ideas: trace your tongue around her areola, flick her nipple with your tongue, kiss on and around her nipple and of course you can continue sucking or gently pinching. We like rhythmic stimulation.

Also public service announcement coming atcha: don’t manhandle her breasts! It hurts, and it sucks, and it’s definitely not sexy. I know you’re excited about touching her boobs and all, but if you don’t want to lose that privilege, be gentle. Unless she has explicitly told you that she’s into rough boob grabbing, don’t do it.

I am neither a doctor nor a sexpert. I’m just a chick with a passion for orgasm. My mission is for women to get off more and more... and more.

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